I have and still listen to this song. It’s not enough to say that it’s heartbreaking ( I cry every time I watch/listen to it). I’m sure many “Christian’s” would not freely admit that they too have been in despairing and desperate circumstances where nothing is being heard back from God. Even in our pleading for any understanding or begging for even a soft “I’m here” from Him doesn’t seem to happen.
I freely admit I’ve been there and that without a doubt the hardest time and the one that stands above all others was when we left the institutional church. I will try not to speak “Christianized phrases” here, as I have had enough of them thrown at me over the last several years. I’ve had my fill of the same recycled catch phrases from other Christians. That, when spoken, are somehow, miraculously suppose to switch the light on in our heads and we will just “straighten up and get back in church”! When most have no real understanding of what church actually means today.
I’m from the boomer generation ( meaning I’m old ) so I’ve been down a lot of dead end roads. The institutional religious system being the worst. The deception and total lack of any discernment today is astounding and I swam in that stream for years! I bought it hook, line and sinker. It’s taken several years to stabilize my faith somewhat, so working out my own salvation with fear and trembling has been and continues to be at the very top of my list and the deprogramming from all the lies I was taught and believed is endless. The most difficult is still learning how to turn off the “voices in my head” of all the preachers/leaders and they’re “spin” on “select” scriptures, cut and paste a works based salvation, full drunken glory filled carpet times and also looking for the next move of GAWD.
I’ve added the song/video “Say Something” at the top of this article, it is very powerful and moving. So many times I’ve been there and out of all the scenarios given in the video, the one where the hands are reaching out to the little girl under the bed and she is reaching back, is something I didn’t catch at first. Probably because of all the pain and hurt the video brings to mind….for me that is the soft “I’m here”, it was just so hard to hear with all the raging pain and anger on the inside and those poking at the open wounds on the outside.
Watching this video, I realized I couldn’t hear God’s voice because I was hiding under the bed of the institutional Church. It had given me just enough of the truth and power of God to inoculate me from the real thing. God was always reaching out to me as I hid, I just couldn’t hear or see Him. Now, as I open His Word, search it’s truth, I can say, “Say something, I’m coming back to you.”
Note: I wanted to add that the first time I saw this video or heard this song I was on a blogsite of a woman who now claimed to be atheist after spending years in the church and in leadership. Abused spiritually by the institutional religious system she was blogging about now about being atheist and she had posted this video in one of her articles. It was heartbreaking to read because I understood her shattered pain, yet she was still taking a stand that there is no God. That has been several years ago and I don’t know what has become of her.