Manipulators most often are covertly aggressive using tactics of deceit, manipulation and control as a steady diet to get what they want. When they want to control, or get what they want they are very cunning, subtle, underhanded and deceptive. Add charm to the mix and you have the perfect vehicle that defines a Sociopath. You’ve heard the term, “He’s a snake in the grass” haven’t you? The analogy is of a snake slithering undetected through the grass to catch their pray unawares. Sociopaths are much the same, they are often inteligent, charming, warm and caring people, at least on the serfice. I’ve always said, “beauty is skin deep but ugly is to the bone.” On the surface Sociopaths appear to operate as normal people but peal that surface back and within is a darkness in place of the soul.
Playing innocent and playing dumb are both tactics of denial Sociopaths use to get what they want. If you become aware of their manupilation, they immediately play the victim, villionizing you in an attempt to punish you. This plays out well before others, I have found myself viewed by others as insensitive, unloving, hateful, and unchristian for simply confronting them or refusing to participate in their game.
Sociopaths are remorseless, one of their characteristics is a kind of glow or chrisma which makes Sociopaths more charming or interesting than the other people around them. In the family dynamic, they are almost impossible to detect because of the emotional attachments between siblings, Parents, Children, etc.
In family groups there are enablers who not only fix things but continue to create an atmosphere where the bad behavior is acceptable. Everyone else in the family has to join in and support it, and they do. There are cycles where everyone has a part to play and the abuse continues on and on (M’Kayla Kelly). They get really upset if you refuse to participate and or tell them you will no longer allow them to “mediate” (meddle) or discuss said abuser with them……. Stop the cycle and everyone goes a little psycho…….(Pat Rogers)
I have to say, as I have tried to distinces myself from my Son who shows clear sympoms of a Sociopath, I appear somewhat crazed by my family members and others. I react with anger, thus most misunderstand I am simply protecting myself from further manipulation. My family members are incapible of identifing with all that I have suffered over the last 30 years at the hands of both Psychopaths and Sociopaths. I have had to go through much counceling to achieve the mental health needed to function with normacy. Now that I can recognize manipulation, I refuse to be victomized by it thereby I will have outburst of anger in an attempt to stop them in their tracks. The level of anger depends on the amount of pressure coming from the Sociopath and others. Most just don’t get it, I will not be moved, I will not give in, I will stand firm, I will never give up nor never give in to any form of manipulation again no matter the cost or the loss. It’s kind of funny as my Son once called me “The Wall.” How right he was, as in this area, I will not be moved.